Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I’d like to shake his hand
He made my baby fall in love with me

Me First and The Gimme Gimmees

When my brother Michael got married the second time the plan was that I would drive in from Wisconsin a few days early and stay with my Mother and then we would make the drive out to Denver, stopping in Scottsbluff to spend the night with my best friend from highschool Barbara W and spend the next day with them. It was supposed to be a leisure ly trip so we weren’t all exhausted when we got there two days before the wedding.

I still don’t know what the hell was going on with my mother when I got there. The kids and I were all excited about going to the wedding and she was wet blanketing everything we said until she finally had my kids so upset they didn’t want to go. That’s when I told her to knock it off in front of the kids or I was leaving.

The deal was that Mother was going to stay at Michael’s house and the kids and I were going to stay with one of Michael’s friends. She sounded like a blast to me and I couldn’t wait to meet her in person. I don’t know how it came up exactly but my mother started yelling at me about that “You think that sounds like FUN staying with complete stranger?” and on and on in the same vein

Then she started complaining about how she didn’t want to go and blah blah blah. I told her once again to knock it off in front of my kids or I was leaving but she kept it up so I herded the kids who were crying by then into the car and we went over to Harvard to visit some friends. When I came back she was in her bedroom with the door locked and wouldn’t talk to me. Christ… Now my kids ere really freaking out.

I didn’t know what the hell to do so I went to talk to my old pastor about the whole mess. He told me to set it out for her that I was going to go and have a good time and I was not going to put up with any nonsense from her. She was wecome to come with me but l was not going to allow her to put a damper on the trip and she needed to act like a grown up and talk to me. I took my kids over to my brother Jimmy’s house and went back and did just that.

She was still locked in the bedroom. I tried to talk her into coming out to talk to me but she wouldn’t answer. Finally I got pissed and decided I had taken enough bullshit from this woman. Time for an ultimatum.

I packed up all my stuff and got it ready to go and then I talked to my mother through the bedroom door. I told her she had an hour to come out of that bedroom and if she didn’t the kids and I were going to go spend the night with Chuck my other brother and then on to Barbara W’s. There would be no more bullshit and that was that. She would act like a grown-up or she would be treated like a child

Then I went over to Jimmy’s and we had dinner. I got back there and she hadn’t come out of the bedroom yet so I told her that she’d have to ride to the wedding with Jimmy. I packed up my car and left.

She didn’t go to the wedding.

B

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